New country, new life!

You know when you have plans to change your life, maybe New Year’s resolutions, but you never follow through? I feel like I spent most of my adult life so far doing that. I’ve had an endless amount of good intentions to do more yoga, plan regular date nights, become a wine connaisseur, study a foreign language, learn how to paint, wake up early, visit museums, volunteer at my kids’ school, call my parents every week, and so on.

Deleting my to-do list…

I’ve always been so poor at following up on most of my plans, despite the fact that I’ve had periods where I had plenty of time and opportunity, that I’ve come to believe that if you don’t do something, it’s probably because you don’t want to. The logic is convincing enough: we spend a lot of time doing useless things, mostly on our devices, so it’s not because we don’t have time.

If we keep putting things off, it’s simply not a real priority, even if we’ve decided that it’s somehow important to us. Ever since I had this realization I’m a bit gentler with myself. I make it a point to wipe my to-do list clean every once in a while. Just to get rid of the pressure of doing things I clearly don’t really want to do.

…and focusing on what I really want

Then again, I also learned that bringing true focus and dedication to an activity that align with my values can be immensely fulfilling. It’s true with work and marriage, and also with hobbies, like long-distance running for me. Two years ago I decided I wanted to run marathons again and I’ve been a happier person ever since, even though it’s hard to believe how many hours I jog around town these days at absurd times and under extreme weather conditions.

The crucial point is to know yourself instead of trying to become something else, or think in a narrow-minded, limited way about what you can or should do. When I moved to The Gambia, I knew the most important things for me included being active, spending time in nature, and making new friends. I wasn’t sure how I was going to do that other than just by saying “yes” whenever an opportunity in any of these areas came up.

Paddle ball & bird watching

Randomly, one of the first things offered to me was joining a paddle ball group. I said yes and started playing three times a week. Because we also have a private tennis court at home, this motivated me to buy a proper tennis racket and practice with my husband and get lessons for my kids. If you’d told me last year I’d be hitting balls every day (between paddle and tennis) I would have laughed—I have no prior experience with any ball sport and actively avoided tennis when I lived in Mumbai—but here I am doing it. It’s a great combination of being active, making new friends, spending quality time with family, and doing it all outdoors!

Another thing I never imagined I would do? Birdwatching. I heard The Gambia is really good for it and had, more like a joke really, put some birding books under the Christmas tree last year. Lo and behold, I’m looking at birds all the time now! Every time I bike to paddle ball, or go for a long run, so basically every day, I stop and stare whenever I think I’m identifying a new bird. I take pictures, run it through the Merlin birding app, and feel very pleased with myself. I heard that hearing birds make a person happy and I believe it’s true.

I’m not saying life is perfect in The Gambia just yet. Especially work has been challenging—it feels weird to work remotely. Not as satisfying, less involved. Then again, I’m pleased that I developed entirely new hobbies and feel pretty settled already, just by following my instincts.

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