PCS Out!

This month has been a whirlwind of packing and saying goodbye. It’s the 7th time we’re leaving a country we lived in for a few years and it feels familiar. Still, it’s “unsettling” in the most literal sense of the word.

Too Much Stuff

Foreign Service Officers get a weight allowance for shipping their stuff: 7200 pounds, to be exact. It will surprise no one that we all struggle with this limitation. Our houses look like museums, because we want to buy whatever special local item everyone else is getting. India is renowned for its beautiful fabrics, rugs, pottery, inlaid marble, and jewelry. It's also relatively affordable to design furniture. You can buy almost anything in India at reasonable prices, from exotic art (we have an extremely detailed painting that was made by an artist using a brush with one hair) to IKEA shelves to display it all.

So yeah, we met our weight limit, even after selecting out several heavy pieces of furniture. I was really surprised actually, because I'd also just purged my closet and shed half of our books, and I donated the crap out of my kids' toys. I suppose a family of four just accumulates a lot of stuff. And buys new shelves to store all that stuff, which adds to the weight even more... sigh. That means we won't have an additional shipment from the US to Banjul, in which we were going to put fun things for the kids like an outdoor trampoline and an acoustic drum set. But there's no point obsessing over this now. There's still lots to be done and I can always worry about "stuff" some other time.

Saying Goodbye

Much harder than seeing my things disappear into boxes, is winding down my friendships. Three years is enough to form lots of strong bonds. We all saw it coming so at least we made the best of the time we had. Last weekend we went with five families to Alibaug by ferry, where we partied in a massive mansion for two days. Think: adults singing karaoke in the pool while the kids battle on paddle boards (yes, the pool was THAT large). Mumbai is an easy place for parties; bring in some catering, turn up the Bollywood music and everyone has a great time. At work there have been lots of gatherings, speeches, goodby presents, and I got a cricket bat signed by all my colleagues.

With this departure I'll have another three or more close friends scattered around the world. When I think of all the friends I made since I started living abroad 17 years ago, keeping track of the countries they're in now is almost impossible. It's fun to occasionally have random meetups in various locations in the world, but it's also sad to think that there are simply people I'm not going to see again because our paths won't cross. Or at least not for a while, as long as our life is as hectic as it is now. Especially since once I'm at my next post in The Gambia, there won’t be great flight connections in general and definitely not to friends who live in, say, Vietnam or Rio de Janeiro.

The Kids

It remains to be seen how the kids are handling the transition. I've seen a major difference in my son who is 11 now versus when he left Germany at age 8, when he basically didn't care. Now he has a very tight friend group and he's extremely skeptical about our next post. The only "upside" is that his two best friends are also moving this summer, so big changes were coming anyway. My 7-year old daughter is blissfully unaware and just lives by the day. In her mind we're just going to the US, where we’ll stay for the next two months, to see family and shop at the Target’s toy section. Another silver lining is the existence of kid-friendly devices; social media apps might be horrible in many ways, but it sure beats having to write a letter and send it via international mail when you miss your friends or family. They can stay in touch and still play their favorite video games together.

Miss/ Won't Miss

As for leaving India, I suppose I'm okay with it. I'm telling everyone I don't really want to leave, which is true, but that doesn't mean I'm fine with the fact that it's inevitable. I'll miss all my girlfriends, my office with all the great people in it, the delicious food, the travel options, and the dynamic mayhem that's Mumbai, but I've filled my cup. Professionally, I'm ready for a change after managing various parts of the consular section. Some of my best friends are moving away as well. Indian food and fashion might be amazing, but the traffic, noise, pollution, stench, and lack of green spaces is not.

On balance, I think I still could do more here. There are just so many intriguing places I haven't visited and people I haven’t met. I just found an amazing hiking/climbing group I would like to go on more adventures with. I'd love to experience another "running season" and see if I can improve more. I want to learn how to cook Indian food myself, and I haven't taken the time to do it yet. I'm in the middle of a freakin dental procedure that I'm not going to have to complete elsewhere (oh, the affordable healthcare here is amazing!).

Yeah, I'd like to come back to India… in a little while.

——————

At the Guns ‘n Roses concert in Mumbai