Thoughts on being a picky eater

I'm in one of those periods where nothing tastes right. This happens several times a year and it usually lasts for a few weeks. It’s often related to stress, having a cold, or not being able to eat home cooked food for a while. Or: having to eat on a strict schedule.

For example, during the 10-day Vipassana meditation course I did earlier this year I was forced to eat at exactly the same time every day, which bothered me. Strangely, I could tell that my body actually loved it—I was never hungry or too full. Though probably I was a little bit hungry, because I lost three pounds in 10 days, but I felt good physically, if not psychologically. Eating large meals at set times is something that just doesn't fit me. I don’t really want to sit in front of a full plate of food three times a day. Even though I get hungry throughout the day like any other person, there are few things, and few times, I actually enjoy eating. I don’t find most foods very appealing.

Force-feed. Being a bit food averse, I felt like at the Vipassana meditation center I had to practically force-feed myself. Thank god Indian food goes down easy! Still, it can be a real chore to eat anything at all unless I’m quite hungry, which can be difficult to accomplish. Even sports (21K runs where I burn 1,000 calories) don’t make me particularly hungry. Although sports help. Eating is still a chore.

Small portions. I only like to eat small portions. Heaped plates reduce my appetite. I definitely don’t like buffets, even more so because I know that’s when restaurants get away with serving lower quality food. Even in five star hotels, buffets often feature sad, cheap food.

Flaws. One tiny flaw in a meal can ruin it for me. Like a brown spot on an avocado. I remember vividly when I was a teenager on holiday in France I got a slice of deli ham that had a piece of bone in it, kind of decorational-looking. I was terrified of this ham and never wanted to eat deli meat in France again.

Cravings. I do crave things: I’ve always loved French fries and green salads. As an adult, I occasionally crave steak, like a rib-eye, and sushi (though a bad batch of sushi will repel me for a long time). I don’t have any food addictions though. I think mostly when I crave meat or fish it’s my body telling me I need iron/protein/omegas. I rely a lot on what my body feels like to regulate my health.

Homecooking: I vastly prefer home-cooked meals over restaurant food. Having worked in restaurants, from low end to high end, I have every reason to be suspicious of their food and its nutritional value. I particularly like the food my best friend makes. She’s cooked for me for over 25 years and nowadays I love everything she makes for me (her early experiments weren’t always successful). Impossibly, her husband is an even better cook, though he cooked professionally so it’s not a fair comparison. I also like to cook myself, though with my limited patience and focus on healthy, vegetarian “whole foods” my cooking is pretty basic.

Picky. I’ll never deny that I’m picky when it comes to food. I’ve always been picky. There are lots of foods I try to avoid, and I used to think I might even die if I ate something yucky. I avoid most warm vegetables, especially broccoli, cauliflower, carrots, pumpkin and green beans. I don’t like yellow cheese at all unless it’s melted. I won’t eat chicken with bones or fat, or any other type of poultry or game. I eat only certain white fish, which I make people taste-test for me if possible. I don’t enjoy eating cake or desserts because I find it too rich or too sweet, or both. There are also lots of combinations I don’t like, like salad mixed with dairy products or eggs, or soups with soggy vegetables. Anything with lots of ingredients is a challenge really, like stews and casseroles, because infant to know what’s in there. I would never eat a pre-packaged sandwich. Texture and temperature also play a role. I don’t want to eat cold food that’s supposed to be warm. I hate overripe fruit. Freshness and smell are important too. I’m not a fan of leftovers and dislike anything microwaved.

Raw meat. On the bright side, I’ve made big strides in my adult life, adding avocado, mushrooms, corn, seafood, tofu, spicy food, and many other things to my diet. The things that give me most joy to eat are actually kind of weird for most people, probably because I grew up in The Netherlands. I have a preference for raw things in general and I especially love raw meat, even fish, like steak tartare and sashimi. Also raw cheese, like feta and burrata. Currently one of my dream foods is a random Vietnamese dish: a savoury pancake called Banh Xeo. But: I rarely eat my favorite things so they remain special. Eating too much of anything turns me off real quick.

Food IV. I once had a boss—he was around my same age—who said eating felt like a waste of time. He said he’d prefer to hook up to a “food IV” instead of eating. Whenever we went out for dinner he’d ask me what I was choosing between so he could order the dish I didn’t pick so we could share both dishes. I understood where he was coming from, and appreciated the gesture, but it felt weird to always share food with him!

Travel. I enjoy food the most when I travel (but only for a maximum of 3-4 days). This might be really unrelatable, as most of this post probably is, but I prefer to eat food in their natural habitat. When I used to go to Greece frequently, because I had a boyfriend there in college, I learned to eat all kinds of seafood, like swordfish and octopus. I’ve eaten lots of pizza in Italy, but I avoid it anywhere else. I adored the curries in Pakistan and India (though they call them gravy there). I reserve hamburgers for when I’m in the US (except for McDonalds, which is better elsewhere) and save bread for the Netherlands. Same with wine: I tend to drink local wine wherever I am because it just tastes better and feels right.

Skinny. Sometimes people—mostly female colleagues—ask me how I maintain my weight because I never skip lunch (it’s my favorite meal of the day) and snack on nuts and chocolate constantly. I used to say I didn’t know, though lately I’ve been saying it’s probably related to running because I’ve been running a lot. My best guess, though, is that it’s genetic. Both my parents are thin. However, my sisters aren’t particularly skinny so it’s really just a theory. I think my aversion of big portion sizes has a lot to do with it too. Even when I was pregnant and purposefully ate a lot more, and I didn’t do any sports, I was still pretty skinny. I just stop eating whenever I start feeling full, because I don’t like the sensation of feeling stuffed. And I only enjoy the first few bites of a meal anyway.

Early death. When I’m stressed, or sick, I eat even less than usual. Sometimes I have a morbid thought that I probably won’t get very old because once I become more frail and sickly I’ll probably lose the will to eat altogether. Yikes!

Not worth it. I believe there are tons of foods that simply aren’t worth eating. Like, if I eat anything deep-fried, I will guaranteed get heartburn and likely feel nauseous for hours. Pizza makes me unbelievably thirsty. Lays chips turns my stomach nowadays, even though it used to be my favorite snack.

Vegan. I ate only plant-based foods for about four years (2018-2021), which was a bit of a rollercoaster. Going “cold turkey” had a big effect on my system. Suddenly, I never felt full. It was als weird and gross to eat eggs again for the first time, or yoghurt, because of the “animal taste” of it. I decided it was too extreme to be 100% vegan, but trying to do it for a few years was a useful lesson. I learned how to cook much healthier and to appreciate vegetables more. Veganism doesn’t equal healthy eating though. I found that you have to combine it with a commitment to eat “non-processed” foods as well. Ultimately, I think eating a bit of animal products is good for variety and naturally keeping up with vitamin intake.

Suffering succotash. I once read a book by this title to find out why I’m such a picky eater compared to my husband, who eats almost anything (except flan!). I didn’t find the book very enlightening though. It has some kind of theory about strong taste buds. But if I had such strong taste buds, then how come I’m uninterested in small taste variations? I’m always surprised when people rave about a particular brand, seasonal fruit, restaurant, or even wine. To me, it’s just not that interesting which one is “the best” or to constantly have new flavor sensations. I simply prefer to eat decent, minimally processed, homemade food. Still, there might be something to this theory. When I eat a mixed salad, as I often do, I get really repulsed by the tiniest bit of broccoli (bitter!) or, for example, a cold chickpea (mealy texture!). If I find a tiny piece of egg or cheese in my salad it’s OVER.

Favorite meal. Ultimately, my favourite foods are boring but also convenient because I can find them anywhere in the world. I still love French fries and green salads, and my favorite cuisine is Indian. I think India is the only country that makes vegetarian food completely successfully, to the point where you don’t miss animal products at all. I’ve had zero bad food in Mumbai and I lived there for three years!

Sweet tooth. I don't have it. I realized as a young adult that eating candy, chocolate and cookies only made me crave more of the same. It's so obviously a vicious cycle that I got out of it as soon as my hungry teenage years had passed. It helped that I have a weak set of teeth, so avoiding sugary foods and drinks also saved me, at least to some extent, from painful dental procedures. Still, I always keep dark choloate around for when I need a boost.

Health freak. My husband thinks I eat extremely healthy and would probably argue I'm a bit of a health freak, but I don't think I am. My parents are conscious about eating so I learned a lot about food as a kid, but I do many things that are not in line with healthy eating at all. For example, I eat at McDonalds (Big Mac fan here!), prefer white rice/flour/pasta over their wholewheat alternatives, and I always include a range of junkfood in my weekly grocery order. In fact, it's not me but my husband who is sensitve to healthy food fads, from downing wheatgrass shots to drinking Aryvedic potions and apple cider first thing in the morning. You'll never see me doing anything like that, or generally buy anything with a "super food" label on it. I’ve never even had an eggwhite omelet. I’m uncomfortable with taking vitamins pills or supplements. I like to keep things pretty simple.

Fun fact: I still fit my pants from 2002. Yup, I literally weigh the same since I was 18.

Disclaimer: I don't pretend to be a food authority of any kind. I've have never had an eating disorder. I've also never been on a diet (except for a 3-month sports-related eating plan in 2021). I’m just sharing one of my eccentricities.

Me & my lobster (Goa)

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